thoracic surgery continued

A nurse called my name and we followed her back to the pre operation department. She led me to a numbered space with a bed and a curtain. The department was pretty full that morning with other patients going in for surgery.  My family waited outside of the curtain while I changed into the gown. When I finished they sat beside me as a nurse came in to ask me questions about my medications and the last time I had anything to eat or drink. A nurse came in to stick me with a needle for an IV. She found a good vein but then it disappeared or blew because she had to stick me again. I think it went into hiding just like I wish I could do right now. This always seems to happen to me in the hospital when they are putting in an IV.  When I get blood work done this never happens. Luckily the second time was a charm. The IV was following and I sat there talking to my family waiting for the anesthesiologist to come in and talk to me.  After the drug doctor introduced himself he asked me some questions.  He said, “If I ask you to lift your arms would you be able too. I said, “Would this be before or after you drug me.”  I thought that was funny but he didn’t laugh. I raised my arms and he just went on with a serious disposition and asked more questions. He explained what knock out drug I would be getting the surgeon appeared. He marked the spot to be operated on with a marker. The nurses who would be in the operating room with me would be there. The one nurse told me not to worry because they had slept at a holiday in the night before. I had said, “Finally someone with a sense of humor.” I told her what I had said to the drug doctor and she laughed. I had a cap that was given to me that I had to put on my head prior to surgery. My husband had to get a picture of me in it even though I refused.  The nurse told my family they could go back to the room we were waiting in that morning. She told them the television in that room shows my name and what part of the operation process I am in. She said, “When the operation is over the surgeon will come out and talk to you and once she is in recovery you will be notified to come back.”  Everyone gave me hugs and kisses and then it was off I went. On the way a calming drug was put into my IV. I must say after this happened I don’t remember anything and when I awoke I was back in a numbered room with my family staring at me.

Thoracic surgery January 2015

The night before my scheduled surgery I could not sleep. I tossed and turned all night. I was anxious and nervous about the surgery. I was mad that I had to have another surgery.  I did not want any more scares on my body.  I did not want any more tissue or body parts taken from me. I did not want to be in any more pain. I am beginning to feel like that frog in science that I had to dissect. He just sits there alive while we just dissect him picking apart his insides.  In the last two years I have seen more doctors and nurses than I can count on my fingers. Here I lay wide awake with all these thoughts in my head about the last two years of fighting cancer and the effect it has had on me mentally and physically. I had to be up at four thirty in the morning which is way too early for me.  I had to be at the hospital by five thirty. Once again another surgery scheduled for early in the morning. My husband and son accompanied me to the hospital for support. My mom and my step dad would also be meeting us there. I tried to convince one of them to take my place but they weren’t going for it. My mom told me I would be fine and that I was is everyone’s prayers.  It was very comforting to have my parents there before going into surgery. I do not see them that often but they were always there when I needed them the most. We were all lead to a waiting room of the hospital so that I could get preregistered for the surgery.  The room started to get pretty full about a half hour into our wait. A nurse called my name and I went into the office and sat down. She was very kind and asked me about my surgery and had me go over all my information to make sure it was correct. She said to me, “I must have missed you last time you were here but I have a care package for you.” She told me about a support group called the Wings of Hope that meet on Saturdays at the cancer center next to the hospital. I told her I go to the group that meets on Tuesdays there.  I thanked her for the package and she wished me well. I then went back out and sat with my family and waited to be called back for pre-operation. 

January 2015

Our New Year’s celebration was a quiet one.  I was having stomach pain and nausea from the gastro paresis. I lay on the couch watching television with my husband and my son. We watched the ball drop and then we went to bed. The next few days I was still not feeling well.  There is nothing I had I could take to help with the pain. I put a heating pad on my stomach to help relieve the pain.  My stomach was full and I could not eat anything. I sipped on some chicken broth and a hot cup of green tea. I drank a full glass of water with Miralax in it. I take Miralax on a regular basis to help me poop. When I am feeling like this I cannot eat solid food. Sometimes I can even get down liquids without wanting to throw it back up. On days like these   I just have to stay home in bed or lye on the couch and wait for my symptoms to go away.  My symptoms could last for a couple of days to two weeks. This is called a gp flare up and when it happens I cannot make any plans to go out. I can’t hang out with friends or family unless they come to see me. My husband and I can’t enjoy a nice dinner out on the town. I feel like I have become a prisoner to this disease and food. I was hoping I would feel better soon because my surgery was coming up and I did not want to feel bad from both the surgery and my gastro paresis.

December 2015

It has been one year since my diagnosis of breast cancer and I am going in to have the cancer romoved in January.  I am beginning to think that December Just is not my month.  This is when they seem to find spots in my body that turn out to be cancerous. Christmas this year was not that great. I brought my dad down like I always had to celebrate.  While he is here we go visit my nephew and give him his presents. We also went to go visit my mother in law who had been in the hospital. We took her some presents and a little blue Christmas tree that I had bought and decorated for her to keep.  My husband and I wore our funny musical Christmas hats to cheer his mom up. We also brought a hat for her to wear as well. We had pre ordered dinner and the four of us crammed into her hospital room to have dinner with her. She really enjoyed us being there. She had asked me how I was doing but we had agreed not to tell her about my upcoming surgery. She was worried about me and we did not want to make that any worse while she was in the hospital. She needed to concentrate on getting better so she could get home.

December 2014

The breast surgeon was very forth coming with letting me know that I did not need a breast surgeon. She had told me she read my reports and looked at my scans. She said, “The spot on your chest wall is nowhere near your left breast. “  “What you need is a thoracic surgeon.”  She then proceeded to make a call to a surgeon and was able to get me seen that same day in the afternoon. She was going to fax all my reports and scans to the surgeon so he would have them ahead of time to look at. I thanked her for all her help.  She wished me luck and we said our goodbyes. The Thoracic surgeon had an office in Milford about ten minutes from my house. His main office was about a half hour away in Dover.  He performs his surgeries at the hospital in Dover.  I had a consultation with him about the spot on my chest. He told me by looking at all the scans that the spot was behind my pectoral muscle. He said, “I will have to move muscle apart to get to it. “ He told me the surgery would be done at Kent General Hospital in Dover. He told me I should have minimal pain afterward. The surgery would not take very long but they never do. The registration and recovery time are what take the longest.  

December 2014

I had a scheduled follow up with my oncologist several weeks later. This is when he told me that the biopsy came back positive for cancer. He said it was the same triple negative breast cancer. I was told that when breast cancer relapses anywhere in the body that it is still considered breast cancer.  I was not happy about the fact that my cancer had spread. It meant that the chemo treatment I had already gone through had not worked. The oncologist wanted to send me to a breast surgeon because of the location of the cancer. He told me he thought it was close to the left breast.  He then said I would need to do more chemo. He would give me two different chemo meds used for breast cancer.  I would have another six rounds of chemo ahead of me. I left the office devastated. I was not happy that the chemo didn’t work and the cancer had spread. I had an appointment with the breast surgeon scheduled for the following week. The surgeon I was going to see came highly recommended. I wish I had seen her when this all started but I did not know about her then. I know of other breast cancer patients who have gone to see her for their surgeries. I actually found her name to be very familiar and then I realized I saw her speak at an event. I felt very confident about seeing her. De

The morning of my appointment I was up at 5:30 to get ready. I had to be at the hospital a half hour before my appointment. I arrived in time and had to be checked in. I walked back to a room alongside the nurse who was going to be in the room with me.  She had me get undressed and put on a gown. She asked me to lie on the table.  She had asked me if I ever had an ultra sound guided biopsy before. I said, “Yes but I am supposed to be getting and MRI guided biopsy.” She said, “That’s not what they have you scheduled for.” I said, “I am supposed to be.” She said, “Let me see what I can do but, the room might not be available or a surgeon here that can do that procedure.” I told her I did not want to have to come back. I said, “I was there when the appointment was made and the nurse specifically told them what test needed to be performed.  By this time a tech came in to perform the ultrasound. The nurse was telling her the situation and the tech said, “Let’s just see if we can see the spot that needs to be biopsied.” She said, “If we can see it by ultrasound, the surgeon may be able to get it without using the MRI.  The tech had spotted it but just had to wait for the surgeon to come in to give her the ok. The surgeon told me the reason my doctor might have wanted the MRI was because the spot was deep inside my chest wall. He said, “Lucky for us the ultrasound has picked it up and we can go ahead and take a sample to be biopsied. Once the biopsy was over it would be time to play the waiting game. Now it would be just a matter of waiting and praying that the biopsy is not cancerous.