I found out within days of my appointment with the oncologist that the American Cancer Society chooses radiation.  My doctor’s office said they made me an appointment for me over at the hospital in the radiation department.  My first consultation with the radiologists was about them marking and measuring me for the spots of my body to be radiated.  They put blue dots on my neck, chest, and stomach.    I was offered to be tattooed with a dot and chose this option after the first treatment.  Unlike the tattooing, the blue marker would not stay on and the dots had to be drawn on again.   I was having radiation treatment every morning from Monday to Friday.  It took up to an hour for me to get radiation.  My mom would come over pick me and my two boys up so I could get radiated.   My four year old would usually throw a fit.  He did not understand why we always had to leave.   He was not good with schedule changes.  I hated doing it but I had no choice sometimes but to carry him to the car kicking and screaming.  When treatment was over we would go back home.  It wasn’t till after the first few treatments that I started feeling bad.  I was still working but I was exhausted.  Pushing carts and standing on my feet as a cashier was taking a toll on me.  One day at work I remember looking around and thinking, I wanted to be anyone in that store but me.  I would trade places with someone who didn’t have cancer.   I quit my par time job because the radiation was draining my energy which I needed so I could take care of my kids.  I decided if I needed income I would apply for social security disability. 

On days when my mom was available we would go to her house after my treatment.  She would look after my boys and I would rest.   I had a babysitter who lived a few doors down from us.  She would come over after school to watch my boys if I needed her.   She would come over and watch movies with my kids while I rested on the couch.  My kids really liked her and I knew they were in good hands.   She stayed until my husband came home then it was his turn to take care of the family.