One day I got to thinking about doing something nice for my mom for all her help.  I really wanted it to be special and something she would remember.  I was remembering a conversation my mom and I had about an Oprah makeover show.   My mom had stated that on her show, she saw where this daughter nominated her mom for a makeover.  The mother on the show had received hair, makeup, clothes and a shopping spree.  My mom was saying how nice she thought that getting a makeover like that would be.  This got me thinking more and I took out some paper and a pen and began writing.  Dear Oprah I would like to nominate my mom for your makeover show.  I have been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  I am 24 years of age and I have to little boys and a husband.  I have been in treatment for the cancer and if it was not for my mom, I don’t know how I would do it.  I went on to say how she helped me and my children while I was fighting cancer.  I explained how she helps out with housework, dinner, kids, and me.  I told her that my mom is a big fan of the show and she especially liked the makeover episode.  I would like to thank my mom for helping our family through this difficult time.  If I could get her on to one of your makeover shows as a gift to her that would be great.  To be able to thank my mom with your help in this way would be wonderful.  I put thanks for your consideration and I hope to hear from you soon.  I signed my name stuck the letter in an envelope and mailed it the very next day.

 

My mom and I had become close especially after my kids were born. She had been there helping me with the kids and giving me advice.  We were not always as close as we are now. When I was sixteen her and my dad had gotten a divorce. My mom was leaving to go live somewhere else.  My brother and I lived with my dad.  I took care of him and my brother who was three years younger than me.  I was going to school, working part time and helping my dad with cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and paying the bills.  During this time my mom was not around much.  She would come to visit my brother and me once or twice a week. I did miss not seeing my mom as much during these times.  I was glad now that my mom and I had been spending time together but, I wish it was under different circumstances.  Having my mom here to help me with the kids gave me a chance to get through this treatment and heal.  I never had to worry about my kids being in good hands because they were. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My appointment with the worker at the social security office paid off.  I was entitled to start collecting disability payments based on the fact that my cancer relapsed.  This was good news. My disability payments were not much but at least it was something.  I did receive back pay from the first date on which I had applied and was turned down.  This did help getting the mile high medical bill pile down some.  I also received Medicare to help with doctors’ visits.  This financial stress that had been part of my life due to cancer was not as much of a burden as it had been.  Before I had gotten cancer we only had one vehicle.  My husband had a truck which was a stick shift I could not drive.  With some of the back pay I received, I was able to buy a car I found a white Chevy Malibu that had been a bank repo.  It was nice to have something fairly new and safe for me and my children could drive around in.  We were no longer a one vehicle family and I did not have to rely on my husband to drive me around. 

The doctor said he wanted to start chemo right away but suggested I get a bone marrow biopsy first.  I asked what that was.  He said, "we need to make sure the cancer is not in your bone marrow".  He said' "I will take a sample of your bone marrow on the right side of your lower back".  He said his nurse would schedule this and the chemo to be done shortly after.  My  doctor explained that  I would be getting four different chemo meds.  I expressed concern to my doctor about the cost of the treatments, test, and surgeries.  I still didn’t have medical insurance and I had bills coming in from the radiation treatment.  He said we can worry about the bills later our main concern is treating the cancer.  I was not a happy camper when I left his office to say the least.  I had to go home and tell everyone that it is not over yet and I have cancer again. 

I have a very supportive husband, family and in-laws.  My mother was going to be there with me and for me and her grandchildren.  She offered to take me to treatment and look after my kids.  My oldest was in preschool so she would watch her youngest grandchild.  My husband had to work fulltime and he had no sick or vacation days he could take.  We were counting on his income because I did not have one.  I was prompted to contact the social security office once again to make an appointment.  I wanted to talk to someone about my case being turned down.  Since, I had a relapse; I wanted to find out if there was anything I could do to get financial help. The medical bills were starting to pile up and no way to pay them. 

That same day in the evening my husband and kids came to visit me.   I was so excited to see my family.  They were just as happy to see me.  During our visit they helped me walk down the hall and around the floor back to my room.  It hurt and was not easy but I managed.  We talked about what my kids had been doing and what their plans were for when they left me.  Before they left I got kisses and hugs and I did not want to let go.  I said my goodbyes as they were leaving and I went back to lying in this hospital bed in this dreadful room.  I was in the hospital for two more days.  I was healing and my doctor said I would be able to go home.  My overnight stay in the hospital turned into a week stay.  I was discharged on Saturday morning.  My husband picked me up and took me to the drug store before heading home.  As I arrived home I was greeted by my children and my brother who had been there watching his nephews.

I would say at this point life would be getting back to normal but, I was still not feeling a hundred percent.  I was also worried about the biopsy results but there was nothing I could do until I heard from my doctor.  That day came and I was given an appointment to come in to discuss the results.  I was told I had a relapse.  I did not know what to think or say.  My doctor informed me that my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is in my chest. He said chemo would be the next form of treatment we will use.  He said unlike the radiation chemo goes to all the parts of your body to kill the cancer.  He assured me the chemo will respond very well to these drugs.   I could be in remission for years or indefinitely.   I did like the sound of that but was not thrilled that I had to have chemo.  The doctor told me I would be losing my hair on my head and possibly everywhere else I had hair on my body.  He said I could be sick even though they will give me anti-nausea meds before the chemo.  He said chemo can make your white count, and red blood cell count drop and if this happens they can fix it.  I did not know how I was going to do this and take care of a family at the same time.  I knew chemo had to be done to kill the cancer that was taking my life so, I would have to figure it out.  I wanted to be around to see my kids grow up. 

I wasn’t getting much sleep in the hospital because of the pain I was in.  The nurse had given me Tylenol with codeine which was not helping at all.  I had compression sleeves on my legs to help circulate them while I lay in bed.  I was in a room by myself which was good but I could not see a thing from my room.  I could not hear anything either.  I thought I must be down the hall away from the nurse’s desk and anyone else.  The room had windows but I had a view of bricks.  I felt alone and bored.  I had TV but nothing good was ever on.  I was excited to see the doctor that morning. I just knew  he would tell me I could go home.  The doctor examined me and said that he would like me to stay for another couple of days.  He said I was not healing properly and that this was due to the previous radiation I had.  He explained that radiation causes scare tissue and makes bone frail.  He also said that radiation can make my body heal at a slower rate.  He said a few more days in the hospital would be all I needed.  He also wanted me to get up and walk around.  This was easier said than done especially since I had a tube coming out my side that was hooked to this heavy metal machine.  I would do what he asked because, the sooner I heal would be the faster I get home. 

  I had made arrangements for my mother to watch the kids while I was in the hospital.  My husband took off from work to be there with me at the hospital.  After we arrived at the hospital, I was given a room.  I had to change into the elegant hospital attire that had been waiting for me on the bed.  I had my vitals taken and an IV put in by the nurse.  I would then be given a relaxing agent and whisked off down the hall to the operating room. I don’t remember how long surgery was but when I awoke I was glad it was over. The doctor said surgery had gone well and that everything was good.  I told him I had some pain and he said, “That’s to be expected and the nurse can bring me pain med.” He explained to me that I had a tube sticking out of my left side that was connected to a machine.  The surgeon said, “It is waste of blood and fluid from the surgery.”  He said he would be back in tomorrow to check on me. 

Fighting Cancer: A few weeks have gone by and my son has adjusted p...

Fighting Cancer: A few weeks have gone by and my son has adjusted p...: A few weeks have gone by and my son has adjusted pretty well to preschool.   I am home with my other son giving him the attention he nee...

A few weeks have gone by and my son has adjusted pretty well to preschool.  I am home with my other son giving him the attention he needs.  My father who had time off from work offered to go with me to my appointment with the surgeon. I was told by the surgeon that he performs surgery at the Wilmington hospital.  My surgery was to be scheduled as an impatient procedure.  The doctor said I should be home the very next day.  He explained the surgery and the anesthesia that was to be given.  I was to not have anything to eat or drink after midnight.  He said it was a simple procedure and that I had nothing to worry about.  I thought about this comment the night before my scheduled surgery while I was tossing and turning in bed.

My son looks so grown up in his khaki shorts and stripped golf shirt.  He has his new back pack strapped to his shoulders as we wait for the bus. As we stood at the stop I took a picture of him with my camera.  My mother who also wanted to see her grandson off on his first day waited with us.  My son looked nervous so I told him he had nothing to worry about.  I said, “the bus will be taking you to your new school were you will meet other kids to play with.”  I somehow got the sense he was not buying that because when the bus pulled up, my son started to cry and refused to get on.  The bus driver said I could ride the bus so my son so he could get used to it.  I got on the bus and my mom agreed to meet me at the school.  After arriving at the school we walk up to his classroom.  I take another picture of him and we get to meet his teacher.  My son was fine after a few minutes and he was actually playing with some toys that were out.  As the students started coming in and I saw that my son was interacting with the other children I snuck out of the room. 


<script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- mycancersitetrack -->
<ins class="adsbygoogle"
     style="display:block"
     data-ad-client="ca-pub-1602376949257249"
     data-ad-slot="5111467413"
     data-ad-format="auto"></ins>
<script>
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
</script>

A few days before my son started preschool, I had my follow up appointment.  I was told by my oncologist that the blood work was fine.  He said, “The x-ray showed a spot on my lungs.”  I said, “What does this mean?”  He said, “He wouldn’t know for sure until I had a biopsy done.”  He did say however the good news is that the radiation killed the cancer in my neck.  I had no cancer in that area whatsoever.   He told me he would refer me to a wonderful surgeon that will do the biopsy on my lungs.  I am just thinking great another doctor more surgery.  I just finished some intense treatment that had a major impact on my family life.  I don’t have time for this again; things were just getting back to normal. 


<script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- mycancersitetrack -->
<ins class="adsbygoogle"
     style="display:block"
     data-ad-client="ca-pub-1602376949257249"
     data-ad-slot="5111467413"
     data-ad-format="auto"></ins>
<script>
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
</script>

I had a scheduled follow up with the oncologist coming up.  I had to get a chest x-ray and blood work done prior to my appointment.  My doctor said these test were necessary to the follow up of treatment.  I would then see my doctor a few days after to get the results.  I still at this time had no question or doubt about the cancer not being cured.  My son was to start preschool in a few weeks and I needed to get him ready for that.  I wanted to get back into my routine of giving my kids a bath and reading bedtime stories.   I wanted to continue to teach them good manners and to be polite.  I wanted to give them chores and teach them responsibility.  I wanted the time I missed with my kids back.  My four year old would be going to preschool and he would be making memories of his own. 

Even though I was not feeling a hundred percent, I was so happy to have my radiation treatments over and done with.  I wanted to get back to my life as mother and wife.  I wanted to enjoy the rest of the summer with my family.  My four year old would be going off to preschool in September and I needed to get him ready.   I did very little housework and saved most of my energy to take care of my kids.  We would enjoy weekend barbeques with friends and neighbors.  We would play baseball and have water balloon fights with our kids and their friends.  I missed those days while fighting cancer.  I missed being able to run around with my kids and laugh.  I believe my kids missed it to.  My children needed their mom back and I could not wait to resume my position as their mother.  I know my husband was glad to see me back as my old self again.  We went back to the way it was before the cancer.

Before my first radiation was administered I had to go see a dentist.  My doctor had told me that the radiation can damage my teeth.  I told him I had no dental insurance.  He said that the Wilmington Hospital has a dental clinic and you pay based on your income.  I was given the number to call and make an appointment.  When I called to make the appointment I was told it would be a six month wait.  I had to have my doctor’s office call them because I was getting radiation and I needed an appointment right away.  I had an appointment for the very next day.  I had a regular mouth exam with x- rays of my teeth.  The clinic used dental students and my dentist had been fresh out of college.  He was handsome, tall and had blue eyes and blonde hair.  He was the opposite of the radiation tech who was shorter, had dark hair and brown eyes.  Even though I was happily married, it was nice to have some eye candy to look at it.  The dentist, who made me want to blush every time he spoke, said I had four wisdom teeth and if they are not bothering me they won’t need to be pulled.  He said because I am going through radiation, I would need to do fluoride treatments on my teeth.  I would have to get a mold made of my teeth. I would then put fluoride into the mold and wear twice a day for at least fifteen minutes.  I would be using the fluoride to strengthen my teeth during and a year after radiation therapy. 

Fighting Cancer: I had no pain while getting my radiation treatment...

Fighting Cancer: I had no pain while getting my radiation treatment...: I had no pain while getting my radiation treatments.   On the day of my treatments I would be greeted by a radiation tech. The tech was ...

I had no pain while getting my radiation treatments.  On the day of my treatments I would be greeted by a radiation tech. The tech was young like me and very handsome.    The tech took me to a huge room that was filled with all these machines and equipment.   I was instructed to lie on the long table and to not move.  I was cold and the ever so fashionable hospital gown was not keeping warm.  I then had to pull the gown down to expose the areas to be radiated.  I was getting radiation from the tip of my chin to the bottom of my stomach.   The tech said there is an intercom in the room so they can hear me and I could hear them.  The tech then instructs me to lie still again and that he will be leaving the room to start the radiation.   I lay there as still as I can be in the dark room.   A few minutes pass and I hear the techs voice asking me if I am ready.  After I gave the go ahead, I hear a loud buzzing sound. As I lay there I could see light or laser beams cover the areas of my body to be radiated.   The Lights and beams had to line up with the pre tattooed dots I had on my body. The sound was constant and I was in that room for a good thirty minutes.   The tech then came back into the room and told me I could get up and get dressed and he would see me tomorrow. 

Getting radiation everyday was taking a toll on me.  I was always exhausted.  I would count down the minutes till it was nap time for my kids.  When they took a nap I took a nap.  One day I overslept and did not know my four year old was already awake.  I woke up to hear him come in the house with his friend.  He said he had been outside playing with her.  This scared me.  I told him never to go outside again before waking me up.  My other son was still asleep.  I found out the day I overslept my sons friend’s mother said, “I should not let my son outside unsupervised.”  I was upset that my neighbor had said this.  I had never done anything like this before.  Of course I never went through radiation before either.   This other mother knew I was sick.  She happened to be outside anyway so, I didn’t see what the big deal was.  We had always watched each other’s kids when they were out front in the yard.  We live in row homes and our children always played right in the yard.  Parents cannot be perfect all the time and I had witnessed that with my neighbor and her own child.   I didn’t confront her because I heard this from another neighbor and was not sure it was even true.  When you have cancer you realize life is too short to sweat the small stuff.  Aside from being tired radiation can make you feel hot.  I could not be out in the sun for long.   If I was, the sun would start to make my skin feel like it was on fire.