I was so glad to see my son get off the bus.  I couldn’t wait to hear about his day.  He and my other son would play outside as I sat on the front steps and watched.  Their dad was due to be home from work any minute.  We would then have dinner that I had prepared.  This is when the chemo hit me.  After dinner I started to feel really tired.  I also felt sick to my stomach.  I had to lie down on the couch.  My husband was going to take the boys back outside to play ball.  I fell asleep and when I had woke up it was passed my children’s bed time.  My husband had said he put the boys to bed.  I was still feeling nauseas and I had to run up to the bathroom to throw up.  For the first time I had missed bed time.  My kids had already been asleep so I went in to kiss their foreheads while I try not to wake them. 

I was tired from the chemo all the time now. I was nauseas and throwing up on and off up until it was time for my next chemo.  My mom would come over some days and help me with the kids.  She would make sure I ate even though I would just throw it up later.  I had to hire our baby sitter to come sit with my kids in the afternoons so I could nap.  We used to only need her to watch the kids so my husband and I could go out every now and then.  Now she was here every afternoon, five days a week.    My kids loved her and she was great with them.  I would be there on the couch napping while she put in a movie for my kids to watch.  I did not like the effects of the chemo.  I felt helpless and weak.  I wanted it to be over but it was just the beginning.  I would be getting my second chemo in a week.