As time went on my visits with my oncologist were once a year. Five years had gone by since my diagnosis with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I was happy and had a great outlook on life.  I cherished every moment and had a positive attitude.  Cancer gave me a second chance at life.  My husband on the other hand did not see things the same as me.  He was depressed and had a negative attitude on life. He was drinking more than usual. He would complain about everything.  He became angry and violent at times towards me.  He was more emotionally abuse than physical with me and the kids. He hated life and I was embracing it.  I could not let him bring me down to his level.  He refused to get help.  I tried to stay married and make it work but I could no longer hang in there.  It had been five more years and I had decided to move out.  My husband refused to leave so I had moved out with the kids.  My oldest was now eleven years old and my youngest was nine.  I had moved into my father’s two bedroom apartment.  I was working and trying to save up money to eventually get my own place.  My husband was not happy with my decision he wanted me back.  I could not go back. I somehow managed working, going to school and taking care of two growing boys.  Their father was not in their life much after the separation and I had to play both mom and dad.  Their dad eventually came around and started taking them on the weekends for regular visits.  I was dating hoping to find love again.  I was in a couple of relationships that had not worked out. One relationship was a three year on again off again courtship.  We had been living together but it was not working out. I had moved back in with my father who needed some help after he had a stroke. I finally gave up dating and relationships altogether.  I focused on my father, job and kids.  My oldest son was a teenager by this point and my younger son was starting middle school.  I was still having behavioral problems with my oldest so his dad offered to take him.  My younger son stayed with me and my father.