thoracic surgery continued

A nurse called my name and we followed her back to the pre operation department. She led me to a numbered space with a bed and a curtain. The department was pretty full that morning with other patients going in for surgery.  My family waited outside of the curtain while I changed into the gown. When I finished they sat beside me as a nurse came in to ask me questions about my medications and the last time I had anything to eat or drink. A nurse came in to stick me with a needle for an IV. She found a good vein but then it disappeared or blew because she had to stick me again. I think it went into hiding just like I wish I could do right now. This always seems to happen to me in the hospital when they are putting in an IV.  When I get blood work done this never happens. Luckily the second time was a charm. The IV was following and I sat there talking to my family waiting for the anesthesiologist to come in and talk to me.  After the drug doctor introduced himself he asked me some questions.  He said, “If I ask you to lift your arms would you be able too. I said, “Would this be before or after you drug me.”  I thought that was funny but he didn’t laugh. I raised my arms and he just went on with a serious disposition and asked more questions. He explained what knock out drug I would be getting the surgeon appeared. He marked the spot to be operated on with a marker. The nurses who would be in the operating room with me would be there. The one nurse told me not to worry because they had slept at a holiday in the night before. I had said, “Finally someone with a sense of humor.” I told her what I had said to the drug doctor and she laughed. I had a cap that was given to me that I had to put on my head prior to surgery. My husband had to get a picture of me in it even though I refused.  The nurse told my family they could go back to the room we were waiting in that morning. She told them the television in that room shows my name and what part of the operation process I am in. She said, “When the operation is over the surgeon will come out and talk to you and once she is in recovery you will be notified to come back.”  Everyone gave me hugs and kisses and then it was off I went. On the way a calming drug was put into my IV. I must say after this happened I don’t remember anything and when I awoke I was back in a numbered room with my family staring at me.

Thoracic surgery January 2015

The night before my scheduled surgery I could not sleep. I tossed and turned all night. I was anxious and nervous about the surgery. I was mad that I had to have another surgery.  I did not want any more scares on my body.  I did not want any more tissue or body parts taken from me. I did not want to be in any more pain. I am beginning to feel like that frog in science that I had to dissect. He just sits there alive while we just dissect him picking apart his insides.  In the last two years I have seen more doctors and nurses than I can count on my fingers. Here I lay wide awake with all these thoughts in my head about the last two years of fighting cancer and the effect it has had on me mentally and physically. I had to be up at four thirty in the morning which is way too early for me.  I had to be at the hospital by five thirty. Once again another surgery scheduled for early in the morning. My husband and son accompanied me to the hospital for support. My mom and my step dad would also be meeting us there. I tried to convince one of them to take my place but they weren’t going for it. My mom told me I would be fine and that I was is everyone’s prayers.  It was very comforting to have my parents there before going into surgery. I do not see them that often but they were always there when I needed them the most. We were all lead to a waiting room of the hospital so that I could get preregistered for the surgery.  The room started to get pretty full about a half hour into our wait. A nurse called my name and I went into the office and sat down. She was very kind and asked me about my surgery and had me go over all my information to make sure it was correct. She said to me, “I must have missed you last time you were here but I have a care package for you.” She told me about a support group called the Wings of Hope that meet on Saturdays at the cancer center next to the hospital. I told her I go to the group that meets on Tuesdays there.  I thanked her for the package and she wished me well. I then went back out and sat with my family and waited to be called back for pre-operation. 

January 2015

Our New Year’s celebration was a quiet one.  I was having stomach pain and nausea from the gastro paresis. I lay on the couch watching television with my husband and my son. We watched the ball drop and then we went to bed. The next few days I was still not feeling well.  There is nothing I had I could take to help with the pain. I put a heating pad on my stomach to help relieve the pain.  My stomach was full and I could not eat anything. I sipped on some chicken broth and a hot cup of green tea. I drank a full glass of water with Miralax in it. I take Miralax on a regular basis to help me poop. When I am feeling like this I cannot eat solid food. Sometimes I can even get down liquids without wanting to throw it back up. On days like these   I just have to stay home in bed or lye on the couch and wait for my symptoms to go away.  My symptoms could last for a couple of days to two weeks. This is called a gp flare up and when it happens I cannot make any plans to go out. I can’t hang out with friends or family unless they come to see me. My husband and I can’t enjoy a nice dinner out on the town. I feel like I have become a prisoner to this disease and food. I was hoping I would feel better soon because my surgery was coming up and I did not want to feel bad from both the surgery and my gastro paresis.

December 2015

It has been one year since my diagnosis of breast cancer and I am going in to have the cancer romoved in January.  I am beginning to think that December Just is not my month.  This is when they seem to find spots in my body that turn out to be cancerous. Christmas this year was not that great. I brought my dad down like I always had to celebrate.  While he is here we go visit my nephew and give him his presents. We also went to go visit my mother in law who had been in the hospital. We took her some presents and a little blue Christmas tree that I had bought and decorated for her to keep.  My husband and I wore our funny musical Christmas hats to cheer his mom up. We also brought a hat for her to wear as well. We had pre ordered dinner and the four of us crammed into her hospital room to have dinner with her. She really enjoyed us being there. She had asked me how I was doing but we had agreed not to tell her about my upcoming surgery. She was worried about me and we did not want to make that any worse while she was in the hospital. She needed to concentrate on getting better so she could get home.

December 2014

The breast surgeon was very forth coming with letting me know that I did not need a breast surgeon. She had told me she read my reports and looked at my scans. She said, “The spot on your chest wall is nowhere near your left breast. “  “What you need is a thoracic surgeon.”  She then proceeded to make a call to a surgeon and was able to get me seen that same day in the afternoon. She was going to fax all my reports and scans to the surgeon so he would have them ahead of time to look at. I thanked her for all her help.  She wished me luck and we said our goodbyes. The Thoracic surgeon had an office in Milford about ten minutes from my house. His main office was about a half hour away in Dover.  He performs his surgeries at the hospital in Dover.  I had a consultation with him about the spot on my chest. He told me by looking at all the scans that the spot was behind my pectoral muscle. He said, “I will have to move muscle apart to get to it. “ He told me the surgery would be done at Kent General Hospital in Dover. He told me I should have minimal pain afterward. The surgery would not take very long but they never do. The registration and recovery time are what take the longest.  

December 2014

I had a scheduled follow up with my oncologist several weeks later. This is when he told me that the biopsy came back positive for cancer. He said it was the same triple negative breast cancer. I was told that when breast cancer relapses anywhere in the body that it is still considered breast cancer.  I was not happy about the fact that my cancer had spread. It meant that the chemo treatment I had already gone through had not worked. The oncologist wanted to send me to a breast surgeon because of the location of the cancer. He told me he thought it was close to the left breast.  He then said I would need to do more chemo. He would give me two different chemo meds used for breast cancer.  I would have another six rounds of chemo ahead of me. I left the office devastated. I was not happy that the chemo didn’t work and the cancer had spread. I had an appointment with the breast surgeon scheduled for the following week. The surgeon I was going to see came highly recommended. I wish I had seen her when this all started but I did not know about her then. I know of other breast cancer patients who have gone to see her for their surgeries. I actually found her name to be very familiar and then I realized I saw her speak at an event. I felt very confident about seeing her. De

The morning of my appointment I was up at 5:30 to get ready. I had to be at the hospital a half hour before my appointment. I arrived in time and had to be checked in. I walked back to a room alongside the nurse who was going to be in the room with me.  She had me get undressed and put on a gown. She asked me to lie on the table.  She had asked me if I ever had an ultra sound guided biopsy before. I said, “Yes but I am supposed to be getting and MRI guided biopsy.” She said, “That’s not what they have you scheduled for.” I said, “I am supposed to be.” She said, “Let me see what I can do but, the room might not be available or a surgeon here that can do that procedure.” I told her I did not want to have to come back. I said, “I was there when the appointment was made and the nurse specifically told them what test needed to be performed.  By this time a tech came in to perform the ultrasound. The nurse was telling her the situation and the tech said, “Let’s just see if we can see the spot that needs to be biopsied.” She said, “If we can see it by ultrasound, the surgeon may be able to get it without using the MRI.  The tech had spotted it but just had to wait for the surgeon to come in to give her the ok. The surgeon told me the reason my doctor might have wanted the MRI was because the spot was deep inside my chest wall. He said, “Lucky for us the ultrasound has picked it up and we can go ahead and take a sample to be biopsied. Once the biopsy was over it would be time to play the waiting game. Now it would be just a matter of waiting and praying that the biopsy is not cancerous. 

Here it is December again one year since my diagnosis. I had a pet scan scheduled the first week of the month. I had a follow up with my oncologist the week after. My doctor showed me the results of the scan on his computer. Everything was fine except for one spot that was highlighted on my chest above the left breast.  This was something I did not want to hear. He told me I would need to have this spot biopsied. There was a chance it could be a recurrence of the breast cancer. He told me the girls in the front would make an appointment for me to have the biopsy done at Kent General. The nurse at the front desk was on the phone trying to schedule my appointment for a MRI guided biopsy. She was having trouble getting the appointment because my doctor wanted it as soon as possible and because it was for an MRI guided biopsy. The person on the other end had originally scheduled it for an ultra sound guided biopsy. The nurse had to specify it was for an MRI guided biopsy. The hospital had to make sure a surgeon would be available to do it. I told her I could have it done here at the Milford Hospital. She told me the doctor doesn’t fool with the staff at the Milford Hospital and prefers the biopsy to be done at Kent General. I said, “He won’t be fooling with them I will or they would be fooling with me anyway.”  This meant I had to travel a half an hour instead of just 10 minutes to the Milford hospital.  After all the confusion I finally had an appointment for the following Monday three days from now. I had to be there at 7:45 in the morning. 

Since being diagnosed with breast cancer, I was made aware of all kinds of information and programs for cancer patients. One thing I found out about was that a cancer support group meets every Tuesday in Dover at twelve thirty to two thirty. I joined the group so I could meet people like me who have had and or are going through breast cancer. The group is mainly made up of women. One man attends regularly and he is the husband of one of the women who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her husband is a cancer survivor himself. There is about ten of us in the group. We have a facilitator who works in the health care field. In the group we talk about our cancer and what is going on with us currently. We give each other advice and learn from each other. One woman attends because she was a caregiver for her husband who passed away from cancer. She is full of knowledge and insight as a caregiver. She also supports other women in the group by taking them to their appointments, providing meals and helping them cope with the cancer. I have been going now for two years. I have become to know each and every one of these strong women who may not have the same cancer as me but are fighting the same battle. The group has been very helpful and encouraging. I have been able to get through my treatments with the help of them. One woman I met at the group has been an inspiration.   She fought hard and stayed tuff with a positive attitude and sense of humor. With a diagnosis and spread of ovarian cancer the doctors gave her six months to live. With treatment after treatment and trying new meds to stop her cancer from the spread she survived 2 years before she passed away. She is sadly missed and the cancer center support group will be hanging up a plaque in her honor. 

Chewy worked out and he even gets along with my cat Herbie that I have had for five years. They both follow me everywhere.  I call them my shadows. Herbie sleeps with me and wakes me up throughout the night with his head butts. Herbie has always slept with me in our bed. Now we have Chewy in our bed along with some more of our cats. We have seven cats all together. My husband had five when I met him and we added two more. They each have their own individual personalities. The cats are smart too. We have one that can open the kitchen cabinet where we keep the snack. One is an escape artist who darts out every time someone opens the front door. Our cat nitrous will come to us for love and petting but it has to be on his terms. In the summer we bring in moths from outside and the cats go crazy trying to catch them. The animals have helped get through the cancer. I enjoy the comfort and joy they provide. I get exercise when I walk Chewy. My friend has a dog and we do play dates with the dogs often. I have taken Chewy to the beach and he loves getting in the water. On days I don’t feel well Chewy and I hang out together lounging around on the couch. Sometimes a cat or two will join us. I can’t imagine my life without my dog and our cats. Most of the cats are pictured here in our bed.

I made my appointment with the new plastic surgeon for the upcoming week. I was a bit nervous about it. I liked the plastic surgeon I had and was not sure what this plastic surgeon would be like.  There are only about three plastic surgeons in our area. The last year and a half had been exhausting. I had been fighting for my life and the last thing I needed was to have my surgeon taken away from me in the middle of him treating me.  But with all this going on, I was given a surprise by my husband that would change my life forever.  I was given Chewy. Chewy is our half Shitzu and half Cocker Spaniel puppy.  A friend of ours female Shitzu was pregnant. She had mated with the neighbors Cocker Spaniel.  My husband was over there house for band practice when the wife told him she had puppies for sale. Their dog had a liter of three. My husband went upstairs to look at them. She told my husband two were spoken for and she had one left. A few years prior to this, I would ask my husband every so often if we could get a puppy. He always said, “No, I don’t think the cats will adjust.” So I would drop the subject. So when I received a text from my husband at band practice, I was not expecting to see a cute fury puppy. He told me this puppy was up for adoption. This I told him was a big mistake. There was no way he was going to tell me I could not get this dog. When my husband came home, he told me that next week I could go to band practice with him to look at the dog.  I was so excited and could not wait till next Wednesday. I had decided to do research about his bread and how to introduce a new animal to existing cats. I wanted to be prepared so the transition of a new animal would not be stressful for the cats or us. I had brought a few wash cloths with me to pat the puppy down so his scent would be on them. I then would lay them out around the house for the cats to sniff. This would help the cats get used to the familiar smell of our new pet. That night at band practice I hung out with my friend, the singer of the bands wife. We sat and watched the puppies play. I held the puppy that would soon be ours. I wiped him with the cloths and played with him. My husband and I were going to bring Chewy home the following week. We wanted to get a crate, food and toys for him. You can see from the picture why we named him Chewy which is short for Chewbaca.

I told my husband what was going on with my plastic surgeon and Bay Health. He was not happy either. I told him I would be going to Bay Health in the morning to the main office to speak to someone. I was directed to the hospital administration. The hospital administrator introduced himself to me. I told him about my concerns over the fact that they were doing away with my plastic surgeon.  He told me he would look into it and give me a call back. He gave me his card and told me to call him if I do not hear from him. A few days later I received a phone call from a woman at Bay Health. She said she had received my message about my plastic surgeon and his leaving. She told me they could recommend another plastic surgeon. I said, “You do not have a replacement?” She said, “No, there is another plastic surgeon located in Dover and I can give you their number. I let her know how unfair this was of Bay Health and that it should be their responsibility to keep the doctor I had around to finish the surgery. She responded by saying that this was not an option. I told her to make all the arrangements so that I can be seen by this other plastic surgeon. She said, “She could see what she could do and would call me back in a few days with the information.” I had received a phone call and a letter giving me the new plastic surgeons information. They made his office aware of my situation and that I would be calling to schedule an appointment. 

Today I am not feeling well. I had my last round of chemo in May and I am still not feeling a hundred percent. I have not been feeling well at all much this week. I do not blog when I feel like this. I will be back with more of my story very soon. Thanks to all of my followers and stay well.