Fighting Cancer: I had no pain while getting my radiation treatment...

Fighting Cancer: I had no pain while getting my radiation treatment...: I had no pain while getting my radiation treatments.   On the day of my treatments I would be greeted by a radiation tech. The tech was ...

I had no pain while getting my radiation treatments.  On the day of my treatments I would be greeted by a radiation tech. The tech was young like me and very handsome.    The tech took me to a huge room that was filled with all these machines and equipment.   I was instructed to lie on the long table and to not move.  I was cold and the ever so fashionable hospital gown was not keeping warm.  I then had to pull the gown down to expose the areas to be radiated.  I was getting radiation from the tip of my chin to the bottom of my stomach.   The tech said there is an intercom in the room so they can hear me and I could hear them.  The tech then instructs me to lie still again and that he will be leaving the room to start the radiation.   I lay there as still as I can be in the dark room.   A few minutes pass and I hear the techs voice asking me if I am ready.  After I gave the go ahead, I hear a loud buzzing sound. As I lay there I could see light or laser beams cover the areas of my body to be radiated.   The Lights and beams had to line up with the pre tattooed dots I had on my body. The sound was constant and I was in that room for a good thirty minutes.   The tech then came back into the room and told me I could get up and get dressed and he would see me tomorrow. 

Getting radiation everyday was taking a toll on me.  I was always exhausted.  I would count down the minutes till it was nap time for my kids.  When they took a nap I took a nap.  One day I overslept and did not know my four year old was already awake.  I woke up to hear him come in the house with his friend.  He said he had been outside playing with her.  This scared me.  I told him never to go outside again before waking me up.  My other son was still asleep.  I found out the day I overslept my sons friend’s mother said, “I should not let my son outside unsupervised.”  I was upset that my neighbor had said this.  I had never done anything like this before.  Of course I never went through radiation before either.   This other mother knew I was sick.  She happened to be outside anyway so, I didn’t see what the big deal was.  We had always watched each other’s kids when they were out front in the yard.  We live in row homes and our children always played right in the yard.  Parents cannot be perfect all the time and I had witnessed that with my neighbor and her own child.   I didn’t confront her because I heard this from another neighbor and was not sure it was even true.  When you have cancer you realize life is too short to sweat the small stuff.  Aside from being tired radiation can make you feel hot.  I could not be out in the sun for long.   If I was, the sun would start to make my skin feel like it was on fire. 

I found out within days of my appointment with the oncologist that the American Cancer Society chooses radiation.  My doctor’s office said they made me an appointment for me over at the hospital in the radiation department.  My first consultation with the radiologists was about them marking and measuring me for the spots of my body to be radiated.  They put blue dots on my neck, chest, and stomach.    I was offered to be tattooed with a dot and chose this option after the first treatment.  Unlike the tattooing, the blue marker would not stay on and the dots had to be drawn on again.   I was having radiation treatment every morning from Monday to Friday.  It took up to an hour for me to get radiation.  My mom would come over pick me and my two boys up so I could get radiated.   My four year old would usually throw a fit.  He did not understand why we always had to leave.   He was not good with schedule changes.  I hated doing it but I had no choice sometimes but to carry him to the car kicking and screaming.  When treatment was over we would go back home.  It wasn’t till after the first few treatments that I started feeling bad.  I was still working but I was exhausted.  Pushing carts and standing on my feet as a cashier was taking a toll on me.  One day at work I remember looking around and thinking, I wanted to be anyone in that store but me.  I would trade places with someone who didn’t have cancer.   I quit my par time job because the radiation was draining my energy which I needed so I could take care of my kids.  I decided if I needed income I would apply for social security disability. 

On days when my mom was available we would go to her house after my treatment.  She would look after my boys and I would rest.   I had a babysitter who lived a few doors down from us.  She would come over after school to watch my boys if I needed her.   She would come over and watch movies with my kids while I rested on the couch.  My kids really liked her and I knew they were in good hands.   She stayed until my husband came home then it was his turn to take care of the family. 

 

 

 

When we arrived home from the appointment I remember getting a medical book out to look up Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.    There had been just a tiny paragraph about what it was and who can get it and at what age.  My husband and I decided to tell the kids the doctor said I was sick and would be getting medicine.  I remember getting a hug from them and holding them as tight as I could.  I was beside myself and I was not sure what was going to be in store for me in the next couple of months.  I had to call my parents but, I was not ready to say the words I have cancer.  It was bad enough hearing it now I have to admit to it.  I did not want to upset there world.  I didn’t want my parents to get upset because there little girl has cancer.  I did however want to find out from them if anyone in the family had cancer.  I thought telling them over the phone was so impersonal however; I did not want to wait.  I needed them and I was scared.

My husband and my parents accompanied me to my oncologist appointment.  My kids were being watched by my in-laws.  My first visit with the doctor was in his office.  It was there that he proceeded to tell me about my treatment options. My doctor said the course of treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is radiation and or chemo.  The doctor said he would recommend I get chemo.  He said chemo goes right through the blood stream and radiation is done by radiating the area were the cancer is.   He told me chemo is given with a needle through the vein or with something called a chemo port.    The doctor explained that the port would be surgically implanted underneath my skin of the chest wall.    The port was described as a button that has a thin tube connected to it.  Instead of being stuck in the veins the nurse would stick the port with the needle and inject me with the medicine.  My doctor said the port saves the veins from your being pricked and becoming bruised, and sore.  He told me the surgeon who did my biopsy would be the one to put it in.  I agreed with getting the port although I was not happy about having yet another surgery.  Even though my doctor recommends I get chemo, he said he needed to tell me about a study his is involved in.  He told me he works very closely with the American Cancer Society to find what treatments help cure which cancers.    He stated that he asks all of his patients if they would like to participate.  He said this is not a paid study and the American Cancer Society will get to choose my treatment.  After I had asked more questions about the study I felt convinced enough to participate.  If this study was going to help future cancer patients I wanted to do it.    My oncologist said he would send all my medical information out to them so they could determine my treatment.   The doctor told me if they choose radiation it would be done at the hospital.  I would get radiation treatment five days a week for one month.  If I get chemo, the treatments would be once every three weeks for three months. 

 

 

The next day after my husband gets home from work we go directly to the doctors.  My in-laws also meet us there for the appointment.  I am wondering why I have to have an entourage of people accompany me to the doctor.  It was a surprise to see my in laws there and why I had to hire a babysitter when they were available. 

 

The nurse calls us all back to see the doctor and we follow her to a room.  The doctor enters the room and introduces herself to my family.  The doctor then proceeds to talk about me.  The doctor looks directly at me and said, “The biopsy came back and it shows that you have cancer.” Tears began to well up in my eyes and everything became blurry.  I was thinking I have cancer?   I am too young to have cancer.  I have two little boys and a family that need me.  I responded to the doctor,  “How do I get rid of it?”   She told me I would need treatment and she would refer me to an oncologist.  I then looked at my husband and my in-laws.  My mother in law was crying and I knew from this moment on all of our lives would change.  The doctor asked me if I had any more questions.    I said yes.  “Can my kids get this?”  The doctor said,” no it’s not hereditary.”  What kind of cancer is it I asked?  She said, “It was cancer of the lymph node in my neck.”  The doctor called it Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I said, “How did I get it?”  Her response was, “something in the air.”  I did not understand this response but my mother-in-law said, “She probably doesn’t know what caused it.”   Before we left the office my in laws gave me a hug.  I told them I would let them know about the appointment with the oncologist so they could attend. 

 At age 24 I had the life I always wanted.  I was a wife to a wonderful man and a mother of two amazing boys, ages 2 and 4.   While my husband was at work during the day I took care of our children.  When my husband came home from his machinist job he took care of our children so that I could go to my job in the evening working as a cashier at a local supermarket.    My days were always filled.   My one son was on a little league team.  My husband and I would take turns attending the games.   I always took the kids to the doctors when needed for checkups or sick visits.  I was in perfect health and going to the doctors was something I rarely did.  I was young and energetic and loved my life being a mother and wife.

One day I found a swollen gland in my throat.  I had no symptoms with the pea size ball I could feel on my neck.  I just assumed I was getting a cold and I would take some over the counter medicine.  I continued my daily routine as a mother, housewife and employee.  A month had gone by and I noticed that the lump in my neck had gotten bigger.  Then I found a lump in my breast.  I was more concerned about the lump in my breast.  I then made a doctor’s appointment with my family physician.

I saw my doctor and expressed my concerns of the lump I felt on my breast.  She said the lump on my breast was a cyst and assured me it would go away.  I asked her to check out my neck which had a lump as well.  She seemed very concerned about the lump on my neck and even called another doctor into the room to take a look at it.  My doctor said she was sending me for an x-ray and that I should make a follow up appointment to go over the results.  The very next day I went for an x-ray.   With having to get an x-ray I still didn’t think anything serious was going on.  When I went back in to see the doctor she told me the x-ray looked suspicious and she would refer me to a surgeon.  She said a biopsy of the tissue in the lump was needed.  The nurse in the office scheduled the appointment with the surgeon for me.  I still didn’t think anything was going on.  I had no pain nor did I feel or get sick.  I went on about my life as usual. 

The day I met with the surgeon he examined me and went over my x-ray.  He explained the procedure for the biopsy.  The surgery was to take place at the hospital as an outpatient procedure.  I would have a local anesthetic to numb the spot where the lump is.  He then said he would cut along the lump to expose the tissue and take a few samples.  I was very nervous about being cut opened and asked him if I could be put to sleep.  He said I would be given enough numbing medicine that I would not feel a thing.  The surgery was schedule very early in the morning at the hospital.  After I registered, a nurse took me back to a room so that I could change into a gown and they could start an iv.   The procedure turned out to be painless and the only thing I felt was the needle that went into my neck to numb it.  When the doctor asked me if I was ok I told him I could feel some pulling and tugging.  He said that this was normal and everything was going well.  I went home and I was still not concerned with this lump.   I just wanted to get back to taking care of my family.  It was not until a few days after on a Sunday evening that I started to feel worry.  I had received a call from my doctor who wanted to see me in her office the next day.  She asked me if I would be bringing anyone with me.  I told her I was coming alone but she insisted I bring someone with me.   All of a sudden I was in total confusion.  “I asked my husband”, “why she is insisting I bring someone with me.”   He said it’s probably nothing but I will go with you.