I had a scheduled follow up with the oncologist coming up.  I had to get a chest x-ray and blood work done prior to my appointment.  My doctor said these test were necessary to the follow up of treatment.  I would then see my doctor a few days after to get the results.  I still at this time had no question or doubt about the cancer not being cured.  My son was to start preschool in a few weeks and I needed to get him ready for that.  I wanted to get back into my routine of giving my kids a bath and reading bedtime stories.   I wanted to continue to teach them good manners and to be polite.  I wanted to give them chores and teach them responsibility.  I wanted the time I missed with my kids back.  My four year old would be going to preschool and he would be making memories of his own.