I am angry. I feel like I have been cheated in life mentally and physically.  I was not prepared for what having breast cancer would have in store for me.  I was sad and thought no one could understand what I was going through.  The funny thing is I didn’t realize how much I missed my breast till they were gone.   I had two children and with gravity it’s not like they were firm and perky but they were mine and I didn’t want to lose them.  Its one thing to have cancer but to get body parts removed is another. I don’t think it would matter so much if my boobs hadn’t served a purpose all these years.  My breasts were known for feeding children, providing cleavage and sexual arousal.  But regardless of all that, having breast is just knowing and feeling like a woman.  This is how we were made and once it is taken away you feel less like a woman.  I feel different.  It feels like something is gone.  It was a loss.  I want to say this is when the depression hits. I look at it now thought a grieving period.  You cannot get them back once they are gone.  Everything from this point physically changed for me.  While all this is happening and your head is still spinning you have to make a very important decision.   Should I get implants or should I go without. I would have never thought I would have to hear this question in all my life.  I wasn’t prepared to make this decision.  I wasn’t prepared for any of what breast cancer had to offer me.  I felt I was dealt a shitty hand in a poker tournament and I was about to lose more than I had bargained for.  The hard part was that I had to make this decision on my own.  It is my body and no one else could help me.  I had to decide if I should get implants or not.